God, I’m so rubbish at this.
I haven’t been out much the past ten days because I’ve been doing my assignment. That’s not an excuse, because out of the two I’d much rather have gone out.
So, what I have done:
- gone to town alone, once, possible twice
- gone to town with my mum, once, possibly twice
- gone to the three local shops a few times
- walked to my grandparents’
- gone to a restaurant
Hmm… that’s not too bad after all. I was slightly anxious before the restaurant because I hadn’t been there for quite a while. But only a little anxious.
My aunt had a baby yesterday, a little boy. I was all ready to go to the hospital to see them, about to get in the car, until at the last minute she decided she didn’t want anyone there. I was a bit anxious getting ready because of the thought of hanging around a hospital waiting.
I’m a little annoyed with her at the moment anyway because I’m not invited to her wedding. It’s not that I wanted to go, but it’s that I’m specifically not invited. She doesn’t want any ‘children’ to go. At 24, I wouldn’t consider myself a child, but whatever. She wants her siblings and their spouses there, but not any of their kids – adult or not. Her reasoning is that she wouldn’t have her other sibling’s kids there, which is crap because she never sees them. She sees my sister and I all the time – I even thought she and I were quite close. Clearly not. Apparently she only wants her three children, and her fiancé’s children there so they can all ‘get to know each other better’. But how much can you ‘get to know’ someone at a wedding ceremony. All the family are invited to the reception (which I’m refusing to go to, out of principle), so that should be the place she wants the kids to get together.
I have a theory though, on this ‘no kids’ thing. It’s my sister. My aunt has a problem with her. She’d never admit it, but it’s always been there. My sister is 15, almost 16, and my aunt’s daughter is 14, going on 15. The two girls get on really well, they’re the best of friends (though they don’t get to see each other much as they go to different schools and don’t live close enough to walk round and see each other). Before my cousin was born, my aunt loved my sister, but once she had her own daughter, that’s when the problem seemed to arise. I think my aunt saw some kind of competition between the two. No one else has a problem, everyone gets on fine, but she is just a bit cold towards my sister. I don’t know if it’s because as babies/toddlers/young children my sister was a lot better behaved, or she just sees some kind of rivalry there that no one else does. But they’re both equally as pretty, they’re both nice, they’re both clever… I just don’t get it.
So I don’t think my aunt wants my sister there as a) she could steal ‘focus’ from her new family – she wants her kids and stepkids to be the centre of attention, and b) she might take my cousin’s attention away from her new stepsisters. And she can’t just ban my sister, because that would be silly, so she’s come up with this ‘rule’. It’s just my theory anyway.
