Days 56 – 58 (Happy New Year!)

Well I survived the new year, and if you’re reading this, you probably did too. I hope you had a great time, whatever you did.

I was getting ready to go out for New Year’s Eve when I last posted, and don’t even get me started on the getting ready part. I spent an hour doing my hair, only for it to not go right at all. I was so annoyed. I had to rush my make up because of that (I love applying make up, and the longer it takes me, the better ).  I had some nail stickers I wanted to wear too, and in the end only a small amount of time to apply them. I messed them up too, so that also annoyed me. It was about 11 PM at this point so I quickly applied some gold glittery nail varnish. I then realised I wasn’t dressed and still hadn’t done anything with my hair. So I rushed to get dressed and completely smudged my nails. I managed to apply another coat which only messed up a little while I did my hair. Fortunately it was a clear base with glitter so it didn’t look too bad. I just wore my hair down in the end, nothing special.

My dad came to pick me up at about 11:20 PM. My mum had told me the whole night would be over at about 12:15 so I was not too anxious about going. But while I was getting ready to leave he said that the last orders are called at 12:50. Suddenly the thought of being there for about 1 1/2 hours really caused me to panic. I suppose it was that I was so used to the idea I’d be there for 3/4 hour – an hour max., that it came as a shock. I was so anxious  - I was on the verge of having a panic attack. It’s like my brain seems to believe I am incapable of being somewhere for over half an hour without having a panic attack. I took a couple of Propranolol tablets and got in the car, trying to calm myself down on the way there. As we pulled into the car park I had to tell my dad I was feeling anxious and asked if we could wait a minute until I calmed down. I told him why I felt anxious and got reassurance from him that, hypothetically, I could go home at around 12:15, if that was when he started taking people home. That calmed me down a lot, though it’s just a safety behaviour and I shouldn’t have done it. However, if I hadn’t I probably wouldn’t have been able to go in.

Day 55

This is my last post of the year.

Yesterday my dad woke me up again. My aunt and uncle had invited us round for dinner. We had to leave at 12 PM. I wasn’t keen because I planned to spend all day working on my OU assignment, which is due in on the 5th. But as usual I didn’t have a choice in the matter so I went – but I made it clear I didn’t want to stay too long because I wanted to get on with my assignment. Another reason I wasn’t too keen on going was that they only eat three things: baked potato, chicken, and salad. Their ideal meal would be baked potato with chicken salad. They literally don’t eat anything else except for Sundays, where they have a roast chicken, and of course, if they eat out. Guess what we had when we went round? Baked potato and salad! Brilliant. When we got there my aunt hadn’t even put the potatoes in the oven, so we had to wait a couple of hours for them to cook. So we ate and it was a nice enough meal.

The main reason we were going was to play some card games and just chill out, but whenever we mentioned cards my uncle would say “Or we could watch a bit of telly”. There was nothing on TV so we just sat around a bit. Eventually we worked out the real reason he kept saying it, and probably the real reason they invited us round: their TV wasn’t working properly. And they needed my dad to help them fix it. So we spent the next couple of hours shouting out what the TV picture was like while my dad fiddled around with the aerial. And then we went home.

So our day was sitting around waiting for potatoes to cook, then staring at a TV screen waiting for it to work. I could have spent those 4 1/2 hours (plus the hour and a half it took to get ready and drive there) on my assignment. I was not happy. On the plus side, I wasn’t anxious. So swings and roundabouts and all that.

I’m just about to get in the shower, ready to go out tonight. It’s 7:45 PM as I’m writing, and my family have gone to a ‘social club’. I really don’t like the place – it’s really boring. But I also want to see the new year in with my family. So as a compromise I’m going at 11:30 PM. My dad will be picking me up so I can see the new year in with everyone, but not have to spend so much time somewhere I don’t want to be.

So happy new year to you! I hope you have a great night, and a fabulous 2012.